


Baby Fever

by OliviaMarie



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Naruto hears everyone of her friends is having a baby, Oblivious Uzumaki Naruto, Secret Marriage, sasuke justs wants naruto to be happy, she wants a baby too, spouses who don't live together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 13:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11314572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliviaMarie/pseuds/OliviaMarie
Summary: Naruto learns most of her friends are having babies or are actively trying, she decides she too wants a baby. Sasuke just wants her to be happy, and Kakashi could care less as long as he's left out of the mess of his former students' lives.





	Baby Fever

“Eh?!” Naruto stares at her friend in surprise, then to her other friend. Temari and Shikamaru sighed in unison and settled down in their seats. “You’re having a baby?” Naruto says a bit more calmly, but just as loud.

 

“Yes,” Temari nods once. “We were hoping…” Temari looked to Shikamaru, clearly questioning his choice after Temari claimed the position of Godfather for her brothers. “Shikamaru and I were hoping you’d want to be godmother?”

 

“Oh, sure.” Naruto nodded, leaning forwards on her elbows on the table. “But like…where is the baby coming from?”

 

“Excuse me?” Temari asked, suddenly angry and Naruto reeled back in her seat confused. “Obviously I’m having it.”

 

“Okay?” Naruto looked to Shikamaru hoping for some clarification. The man groaned, letting his head fall back.

 

“The baby is in Temari’s womb.” Shikamaru informed Naruto.

 

“But how did it get in there?” Naruto frowned, concentrating on the area of Temari’s abdomen as best she could through the solid wood table. “Did you eat it?”

 

“No.” Temari snapped.

 

“Naruto, you know what sex is right?” Shikamaru asked, clearly uncomfortable with this situation. Getting a nod he pressed on. “Well, sometimes when a woman is ovulating and she has penetrative sex with a man she’ll conceive a child.”

 

“Okay.” Naruto accepted the information, and then she frowned. “How does it come out?”

 

“The same way it got in there.” Shikamaru said, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. From over Naruto’s shoulder he saw Sasuke coming, surprisingly early considering the rookie nine weren’t suppose to get here for another twenty minutes. Shikamaru hadn’t though he’d have come.

 

“So…if you have anal sex it’ll come out there? And if it’s vaginal it’ll come out there? Or is it an oral thing and you vomit up the baby?” Naruto asked, and Sasuke paused behind her and went to step away but Temari glared at him.

 

“Oh, Uchiha-san,” Temari greeted, distracting Naruto into turning around and pulling him down into the seat next to her.

 

“I didn’t think you were going to come!” Naruto exclaimed, not having let go of his shoulder yet. “You said it was too much everything.”

 

“Kakashi made me come.” Sasuke said, looking to Temari and Shikamaru for some clarification on the subject of conversation before he had arrived. Only they didn’t seem to understand his look.

 

“Temari’s having a baby! Did you know that they had sex to have a baby? That seems rather weird, because Shikamaru seems too lazy for that—“ Sasuke placed a hand around her mouth, looking regretful that he had come at all. Temari and Shikamaru looked strained, clearly doubting their choice in godmother.

 

“I know how children come into the world.” Sasuke said, letting go of Naruto with a glare at all the spit coating his hand.

 

“Wait…does that mean I could be pregnant?” Naruto asked, looking to Shikamaru worriedly. “Or Sasuke? Can guys get pregnant? Or can clones impregnate people because then I should really track down—“

 

“No.” Sasuke slapped her upside the head. “Just. No.”

 

“Only boys can impregnate girls.” Temari told her and Naruto nodded sagely as she understood.

 

“But what about my male clones?” Naruto asked, thinking on all the people she’d slept with over the years. “Can my clones get me pregnant?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Sakura and Ino arrived with Chouji and Sai in tow. Sakura looked very scandalized.

 

“Naruto has learned how babies are created.” Temari informed the new comers, motioning for them all to sit down. “It’s apparently a new information for her.”

 

“Please tell me you’ve been using protection.” Sakura sighed, looking at her younger teammate in exasperation.

 

“Protection?” Naruto seemed confused and Sakura let the subject drop.

 

“How about you just ask Kakashi-sensei?” Sakura suggested, patting her teammate on the head. “He’s suppose to cover that for you—or even Jiraiya should have.”

 

“Jiriaya taught me a lot about sex.” Naruto said, getting Ino to choke on the water she’d been drinking. “Oh, are you okay?”

 

“Fine.” Ino said, Sai patting her back gently. “What do you mean Jiraiya-sama taught you about sex?”

 

“Well, he set me up with loads of people within those three years? And he had me edit all of his books. And there was this one time in a brothel that we shared—“

 

“I don’t want to know.” Temari stated. “Just…if you have anymore questions ask Hokage-sama.”

 

“Okay.” Naruto shrugged, grinning widely at her. “You learn something everyday.”

 

“You learn something every two seconds.” Sasuke told her, and Naruto glared at him. She went to open her mouth, to tell him what she wouldn’t be doing to him, when he seemed to realize what was happening and slammed his hand over her mouth again.

 

X

 

“Ne, Sasuke?” Naruto sat down on Sasuke’s bed at who knows how early in the morning. Sasuke would wonder how she got into his apartment, but he did give her a key. “Do you want a baby?”

 

“It’s too early.” Sasuke told her, attempting to roll over to ignore her but she flopped on his chest so she could lay entirely on him with their foreheads pressed together.

 

“Kurama says he’s been handling the not getting pregnant situation.” Naruto said softly, playing absently with Sasuke’s hair. “Or rather he’s been saving all the fertilized eggs.”

 

“And?” Sasuke asked, realizing he’s not going to be going back to sleep.

 

“I think it would be nice.” Naruto told him just as softly as before. “If we had a baby.”

 

“Then everyone would know we’ve been…fucking.” Sasuke stated, because that entire situation is one he’s been trying to avoid. It was hard enough to keep Naruto’s mouth shut when she started spouting things about her sex life (or rather theirs, if it is anything in the last year).

 

“But everyone’s having babies.” Naruto whined, kicking her legs down onto the bed and nearly getting Sasuke between the legs. He hadn’t even flinched, which told him that perhaps he was too used to it. “Temari, Ino, and Miria are all pregnant—and I know that Sakura and what’s his name have been trying. So’s TenTen and Lee.”

 

“That’s three people having babies.” Sasuke pointed out, and Naruto gave him a face that told him she really didn’t care. “We’re twenty years old.”

 

“You’ll be twenty-one in another three weeks—and then I’ll be twenty-one in October. so we’ll both be a year older by the time the baby would be born.” Naruto told him. “Is it because people will know about us?” She asked, and Sasuke swore he could feel her heart skipping beats against his own. “Are you embarrassed of me?”

 

“That’s not it.” Sasuke tried, seeing her eyes starting to tear. “Naruto, you are the only one for me. You understand that right?”

 

“I guess.” She let her head drop to the side, burying her face in his pillow. Sasuke wrapped his arms around her, turning his head to press kisses into her cheeks.

 

“I don’t want them to change your mind about me.” Sasuke whispered, feeling a wetness starting to spread on the pillow. “You could do so much better than me. Most of the time I’m not in Konoha,” Or this plane of existence. “The only reason I come back is you.”

 

“I love you.” Naruto told him, voice muffled by the pillow. Sasuke snorted, and she hit his shoulder.

 

“I think that’s obvious. No one chases someone for four years without loving them.” Sasuke told her amused, Naruto said something but the pillow muffled it too much for him to hear. It was probably better he didn’t know anyways. “I love you too.” He told her quietly, feeling her still on top of him.

 

“Really?” She turned her face to him, wide blue eyes still watery but looking hopeful.

 

“Why else would I come back?” Sasuke asked, and he was awarded with the biggest smile he’s ever seen on her. It made her eyes crinkle and he even saw dimples on either side of her mouth. “It’s you or nothing.”

 

“We could change that though.” Naruto told him, looking hopeful again. She also looked nervous, and Sasuke pushing their foreheads together again.

 

“Fine.” Sasuke sighed.

 

“Does this mean we can tell everyone that we’re married?” Naruto asked, and Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

 

“It’s bad enough Kakashi knows.” Sasuke muttered, and Naruto laughed as she sat up. She smiled down at him, shifting her hips a bit in a way she knew drove Sasuke crazy. He glared at her, but brought his knees up so she could lean back on them as she tugged his sleep pants down.

 

X

 

“You two never do anything by halves.” Kakashi sighed, letting his head hit his desk. Sasuke and Naruto stood in front of him, his ANBU fleeing the room as soon as he gave them the signal. Nearly all meetings were so confidential that no one else was allowed to be present, and Naruto had fore warned him that what they were going to be coming to see him for was confidential. He just hadn’t expected this.

 

“If you don’t think that Naruto is ready for this we can—“

 

“Sasuke shut up, we’re having a baby whether you like it or not.” Naruto snapped, and Sasuke rolled his eyes at her. If he had a problem with it he would have never agreed, would have told Kurama to not impregnate her.

 

“This is the confidential information you wanted to talk about?” Kakashi clarified, seeing Sasuke raise his brow in a challenge and Naruto nod happily. “Just to be clear, you’re still not telling everyone that you’re married?

 

“Sasuke doesn’t want to.” Naruto shrugged, seemingly nonplussed with it. “I don’t really care.” It was obvious by her strained look that she did have a problem, but Kakashi wasn’t going near that with a ten foot pole.

 

“Well, now is a good time for you to have a baby. You aren’t taking any missions outside the village due to your training, so nothing has to change there.” Kakashi sat back. “Are you telling anyone about the baby?”

 

“They’ll know when I have them, won’t it?” Naruto asked, and Kakashi looked to Sasuke for help. It was clear the young man didn’t want anyone to know, and was leaving this up to Naruto. Kakashi decided this wasn’t his problem.

 

“Okay. I’ll leave all of the personal details to you.” Kakashi told them, leaning back in his chair. “Now get out of my office, I have actual work to do.”

 

“Yes, sir!” Naruto saluted him, a mocking gesture that from anyone else would be insulting. Sasuke nodded once, turning and fleeing the office with Naruto hot on his heels insisting they go get ramen for an afternoon snack.

 

“Is everything okay?” His secretary asked as he came in after them, looking out the door they just left.

 

“No.” Kakashi said, “When is anything to do with those two okay?”

 

X

 

“Naruto?” Sakura looked to Naruto with concern, turning to share a glance with Ino and Temari. “You alright?”

 

“Just fine, Sakura.” Naruto yawned. “Why do you ask?”

 

“You’ve just seemed tired lately.” Sakura said.

 

“And you’ve gained a shit-ton of weight.” Ino said, pointedly looking at Naruto’s sweatshirt that was drawn tight in the front. “Anything you want to tell us?”

 

“I don’t think so?” Naruto drew her brows together as she frowned, looking a mix of confused and concentrated.

 

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re pregnant.” Temari said, and Naruto tilted her head at her questioningly.

 

“But I am? Why would you think I’m not?” Naruto asked, and that made the three women freeze in place as they ate their afternoon snacks.

 

“When did this happen?!” Sakura shrieked, slamming her hands down on the table. “ _How_ did this happen? Nevermind, I know _how_ I meant _who_!”

 

“My…husband?” Naruto looked at the skeptically, looking to Ino and Temari who looked just as mad and confused as Sakura did. “Why are you mad? Is everyone else allowed to have babies and I’m not? Kakashi said it was okay, it’s why I haven’t done any missions besides for desk duty.”

 

“You’re MARRIED!” Sakura and Ino shrieked, and even Temari flinched away from them. Naruto had no where to go in her chair, but looked like she wanted to flee.

 

“When did that happen?” Temari asked calmly, gathering her wits as Sakura and Ino sat down with dumbfounded expressions.

 

“Like…two days after the war?” Naruto shrugged. “Didn’t seem important since all of you were busy and Sasuke said only Kakashi had to know.”

 

“You’ve been married for four years, and never thought to mention it?” Sakura said in a dangerously quiet tone. Naruto nodded slowly, getting ready to run.

 

“You told Sasuke-kun before us?” Ino asked offended. “Before Sakura?”

 

“Kakashi said that the person you’re marrying has to know you’re marrying them, Sakura-chan was there for that conversation when we were twelve.” Naruto informed them not understanding their anger. “Why are you mad?”

 

“Why?” Sakura asked. “WHY?!”

 

“That’s what I asked.” Naruto pouted, crossing her arms.

 

“Have you had a check up yet? I should have been informed of this, what if you’ve had incompetent care?” Sakura said, her mood switching so rapidly Ino and Temari felt whiplash. It was as though she was the pregnant one of the three of them.

 

“Check up?” Naruto frowned.

 

“You…you…” Sakura threw her hands up in the air, catching her hair in her hands as they dropped a moment later to pull at her hair.

 

“Kurama says to tell you he has it covered—whatever that means.” Naruto grabbed the fruit slice in front of her (Sasuke insisted she eat more fruit and vegetables, agreeing with Kurama about her eating habits). “He saved up all my fertilized eggs since I was thirteen, and he chose the two best candidates that contained Sasuke’s DNA.”

 

“Two?”

 

“I mean…there’s three now? At least that’s what Kurama said—Sasuke was pretty mad about that because apparently it means one of us has to move to a bigger place unless we just shuffle them between us.” Naruto shrugged in a ‘what-can-you-do’ manner. “But babies are small, so I don’t see what the big deal is.”

 

“Oh shit.” Ino said suddenly, looking shocked. “You and Sasuke are married.”

 

“Yes?” Naruto frowned at them. “Did you really not know?”

 

“You and Sasuke live on opposite sides of the village.” Temari said.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Why don’t you live together?” Temari asked lightly and Naruto shrugged.

 

“Sasuke didn’t want to live in my apartment and I didn’t want to move—I’ve lived in that apartment since I was three, you know?” Naruto worried her lip. “Although Kakashi suggested that we use the Uchiha compound, since it’s basically untouched. Sasuke said he’d think about it.”

 

“So all those times you were talking about your sex life…” Ino trailed off, eyes a bit foggy.

 

“That was Sasuke?” Sakura continued.

 

“Yes?” Naruto sighed.

 

“Oh my kami…” Temari burst out laughing. “You’ve fucked Sasuke.”

 

“I mean…that’s how babies are made.” Naruto pouted at them as they all seemed to get something she didn’t.

  
“No, you…you’ve fucked him in your male form.” Ino said and the three laughed again.

 

“I mean…that’s true?” Naruto shrugged, looking to the time. “Oh, I’m late. I’ll see you guys later!” She stood and waved, dashing out of the tea house towards the Hokage Tower.


End file.
